Sick Hobbies
by Tomas the Betrayer
Summary: To pass the time while enduring the rounds of the Liar Game, you need a little humor, and a lot of viciousness. The following stories are done in the name of fun and games. Enjoy!
1. Game III

"So you see, Nao-chan," the overweight Eda Teruyuki explained, his chunky face pale and sweaty, "when the opposing team told us it would be to our team's benefit if we took the money they were offering, we never dreamed that they were lying to us!"

"That's right!" Tsunoda Kousuke confirmed with his hair sticking out like he had just been struck by lightning. "Everything they said seemed to make sense at the time, and when we saw the money, well, it made even more sense!"

Standing before that panicky pair, the doe-eyed waif Nao Kanzaki stared in dismay. "But… this is the Liar Game. After playing two full Games and one Revival Round, how could you have both not picked up on the fact that other contestants tend to lie?" She glanced uncertainly between them. "I mean, I'm the most trusting person alive, and even I've figured that out by now!"

Both men hung their heads in shame. The forlorn trio stood in a quiet section of the derelict airport terminal where this third Game was being played out. Having revealed to her that they had effectively doomed their team to defeat by their actions, Nao felt at a loss as to what to do next.

"Well," she stated finally, "I think the first thing we should do is tell Mr. Akiyama what happened. He's very clever, and even with this, he might find a way to…"

"NO!" Eda jerked his head back and forth, sending his jowls flying. "Please no, Nao-chan! Don't tell Mr. Akiyama about this! That guy scares me, I don't know what he'll do!"

"But it'll be fine," Nao attempted to explain. "He's really very kind, if it weren't for him I never would have gotten this far. Come on, we can…"

Tsunoda stepped forward and gripped her shoulders anxiously. "Nao-chan, please, you mustn't tell anyone about this! The rest of the Southern Country would kill us if they learned we fell for the Northern Country's trick!"

"I don't know…" She appeared skeptical.

"We'll do everything we can to make up for this, only don't tell on us, please!" Eda clasped his hands together anxiously. "We beg you!"

The gentle maiden bit her lip, looking between their anxious, fear-filled faces. "Well… okay. If you're that worried, I promise not to tell anyone. It's just…"

"Oh, thank you, Nao-chan!" Bug-eyed Tsunoda sagged in relief alongside his fellow dupe. Sweat poured off them in buckets. "I feel so relieved to have a wonderful person like you on our side!"

"Thank you, I suppose. Only the thing is…"

"Yeah, we sure are lucky!" the fat man exclaimed, wiping a meaty forearm across his brow. "I hate to think of what our teammates would do to us if they found out."

Tsunoda clapped him on the back in relief. "Especially Fukunaga! Can you imagine what that violent, short-tempered, money-obsessed cross-dresser would do to us if he only knew?"

"I know! Talk about 'Game Over'. We'd be dead for sure!"

"EEP!"

The unlucky duo looked up in surprise, to find Kanzaki regarding them with tear-filled eyes, fists pressed to her mouth.

"Nao-chan?" Eda spoke worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

The girl dropped her hands, trembling like a deer caught before hunters. "I really, really hate to tell you this, but, you see… _Mr. Fukunaga's been standing behind you the whole time_!"

Both men whipped around, and there stood the shaven-headed transsexual, red lips curved in a calm friendly smile.

"Hi," Fukunaga said.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Eda and Tsunoda let loose blood-curdling screams that ripped from their throats and filled the air with the sound of pure animal terror. Arms crossed beneath his surgically-implanted melons, Yūji Fukunaga only continued to smile. He glanced over to where Nao stood behind the pair of wailing cretins and spoke over their mingled shrieks. "Hey, Nao. How's it going?"

"Um… I'm fine, I guess." Peering timidly at the eerily calm conman, she strove to pick out some sign of the impending fury that one would expect from their volatile comrade. But everything in his voice and bearing lent the impression of absolute tranquility. It was odd, to say the least. "Say, Mr. Fukunaga…"

"Yes?"

"Aren't you, well… angry?"

He only raised a plucked eyebrow. "About what?"

This was very peculiar. "About these two admitting to being tricked by the Northern Country into ruining our chances of winning. I thought for sure it would make you mad!"

And Fukunaga chuckled, shaking his bald head.

"Oh, Nao, Nao. What's there to be mad about? I'm not mad."

"Oh." This came as a great relief to the sweet-tempered young woman. The other two had stopped squealing and now crouched behind her tiny frame for protection, watching Fukunaga fearfully with sweat staining the armpits of their shirts. "Wow, that's so wonderful to hear! I thought for sure you'd beat them bloody and then go on to ki…"

"Actually, you know what I am, Nao?" Yūji continued in a cheerful vein. "Thirsty." He then pulled a hundred Yen bill from his pocket and held it out to her. "Would you run along and get me a soda from the vending machine?"

"Oh, certainly!"

The gracious nymph reached out to accept the money, but just as she did so, Eda Teruyuki gave a frightened yelp. "NO NAO, DON'T LISTEN, HE'S TRYING TO TRICK YOU!"

"Huh?" She looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE ABOUT PEOPLE LYING?" Kousuke joined in while cowering at her back. "FUKUNAGA'S TRYING TO GET YOU TO LEAVE SO THERE WON'T BE ANY WITNESSES TO WHAT HE DOES TO US!"

"What?" Kanzaki looked between them in confusion. "But he just said that…"

"TRUST ME, NAO-CHAN! IF YOU LEAVE, HE'LL KILL US!"

"Nao," Fukunaga spoke softly, "I'm really thirsty over here. Won't you please help me?"

Her tender heart melted at the earnest distress in his voice. Looking at the scared pair, she attempted to reassure them. "I'll only be gone for a few minutes, just wait right here."

"Nao-chan!" Tsunoda dropped to his knees, followed closely by Eda. "Please believe me when I tell you our lives are hanging by a thread! If you leave us, we're dead for sure! And I'm not talking about the 'dead' that everybody in this Game uses to describe the state of losing, I mean actual, literal, rotting-meat DEAD!"

"It feels like my throat is sandpaper." And Fukunaga gave a small cough without ever losing his smile. "Seriously, I'm dying over here, Nao."

Seeing their savior start to be swayed by the sex-worker's sweet words, Eda lifted his pudgy hands in prayer. "I beg you, Nao-chan, in all your honest tenderhearted compassion and inhuman kindness, have mercy and don't leave us! DON'T LEAVE US!"

This passionate protest seemed to seal the deal for her. "Mr. Fukunaga, I'm sorry, but…"

The crouching cowards felt their hearts soar at the prospect of their salvation.

Then Fukunaga pointed a finger and said, "Look, Nao. Bunny rabbit!"

"Eh?"

All three turned around. Sure enough, there sat a small fluffy brown bunny right in the middle of the terminal.

"Huh?" Tsunoda gaped, his fear momentarily forgotten.

"How the…?" Eda began.

"BUNNY!"

With a delighted shout, Kanzaki tore away from them and streaked towards the cute little critter, arms outstretched to hold it. The rabbit twitched its nose and hopped swiftly away. Nao raced off in pursuit. "Here, bunny!" she laughed giddily. "Here, bunny!"

The girl and her quarry disappeared into the distance. Meanwhile, the two she left behind remained slumped on their knees, mouths open in shock.

"Wh…" Tsunoda finally managed, swallowing his fear. "Where did the rabbit come from?"

Behind him, he heard a low, disturbing chuckle.

"Oh, there'll be plenty of time to answer that."

Turning, they saw Fukunaga sliding on a pair of thick leather fighting gloves, those wide eyes blazing in triumph.

"Oh, wait…" He cracked his knuckles, the smile now converted into a wicked grin. "I guess there _won't be!"_

He advanced on them then, and both men screamed.

* * *

Humming merrily, Nao came skipping along clutching the rabbit to her chest. She was quite proud and happy to have captured the elusive forest creature and couldn't wait to show him off.

Upon returning to the spot where she remembered leaving her allies, however, she found no one there. Confused, the girl stood thinking for a minute while the rabbit twitched restlessly in her grip.

A noise came to her ears then, apparently emanating from a door at the side of the room. Nao resolved to investigate and moved to stand before the portal. She gave a knock on its frame.

"Hello? Mr. Fukunaga? Anyone?"

The sounds within ceased. A few moments later, the door opened a crack and Fukunaga peered out. "Yes?"

"Look!" Kanzaki beamed ecstatically and held up her prize. "I caught him!"

The transvestite considered this, then grinned. "Good for you, Nao."

It felt good to be praised like this. She recalled something then. "Say, what happened to Mr. Kousuke and Mr. Terayuki?"

"Who?"

It didn't look as though he knew who she was talking about. "Ummm… Fatty and Veg-Head?"

They stared at each other for a while. Then Fukunaga blinked. "Oh, them." And he gave her a fond smile. "They had to go."

"Go?" Nao didn't see what that meant. "Go where? The Game is still on, they can't just leave."

At that moment, Kitamura Hiroto the Office-Worker came rushing up to Nao.

"Kanzaki-chan, thank goodness I found you! I just fell into a cunning trap laid by our opponents and I don't know what to do! You see, they told me if I took money from them it would benefit my team, so naturally I believed them. Now I see it was a mistake, and I could really use your help to explain this to the others and keep me safe, especially from Fu…"

Fukunaga stuck his head out the door fully and looked right at him. Upon seeing this, Hiroto promptly freaked out.

"… uuuUUKAGAGAGAAAAA!"

Nao stared at the bespectacled man in perplexity while he stood there with his teeth chattering, then looked back to Fukunaga. "What's wrong with him? Mr. Fukunaga, did you do something to make him...?"

"Say, Nao," the cross-dresser spoke up then in a slightly chiding manner, "Where's my soda?"

"Eh?" She looked down at the bill in her hands along with the vainly struggling bunny, and gave a gasp. "Oh my goodness, I completely forgot! I'm sorry, I was so focused on catching Mr. Bun-bun here I never…"

In response, Fukunaga laughed easily. "It's okay, Nao." And he produced another 100 Yen note. "Here, get one for yourself while you're at it. My treat. Run along, now!"

Kanzaki took the money and turned to move past the still-paralyzed Hiroto when Fukunaga called out to her, "Oh, and Nao?"

She glanced back at him, and he flashed a sunny grin.

"Make mine… _extra _cold," he whispered.

"Uhhh…" Nao pondered this odd request. "Okay." Not wanting to look unintelligent, she decided to go on her way without asking what that meant.

As soon as she was gone, Fukunaga took the unresisting Kitamura by the collar, guiding him back into the room. That cold bit would keep dear little Nao occupied for at least half an hour. Plenty of time to do what needed to be done.

The door closed softly behind them, and the game continued.

* * *

The Liar Game officials, Leronira and Nearco, stood in the control room watching the ensuing beat-down on the monitors. After a while, Nearco looked over to his compatriot. "It's against the rules to use violence in the Liar Game. So why do we always let Fukunaga get away with it?"

Leronira turned to regard him. "Do _you _want to be the one to tell him no?"

"Hmmm. Good point." He then held out a bowl of toasted pumpkin seeds. "Care for some?"

"Why, thank you."

Both masked dealers then went back to observing the show.

_**FIN.**_


	2. Revival Round 2

"The Eastern Army has called a time-out!" Solaris the dealer announced. "There will now be a three-minute recess before we resume the Vanguard Battle of this Revival Round."

Nao Kanzaki gave a grateful sigh.

Standing up, she began to walk around the school library where this Revival Round was being held. Nao had used their time-out in order to prevent them all from falling into the LGT Office's trap. Now it was just a matter of convincing Mr. Fukunaga to take a loss in this round of No-Bullets Russian Roulette and not simply crush his opponent. It might take a good deal of effort on her part, but perhaps if she played to his incredible greed, it would all work out.

Glancing around the room stacked with shelves and books, the virtuous young woman tried to locate her two compatriots in the Western Army. Shinichi Akiyama was easy to spot. The brooding genius stood off by himself, one hand on his chin, apparently absorbed in thought. Perhaps it would be a good idea to enlist his aid in this endeavor. With that, she started towards him.

Without warning someone grabbed her by the wrist and gave a sharp yank.

Nao fell with a squeak. Disoriented, she found herself huddled behind a book trolley stacked with reading material. When the dumbstruck maiden looked to see who had pulled her down here, she was in for a surprise.

"Mr. Fukunaga?"

"Shhhh!" the fair-featured faux femme fatale raised a finger to his lips and gave a saucy wink. Attired in flowing blond wig and black temptress attire, he looked more the part of the woman now than in the previous two Games. With tastefully spare makeup to accentuate his girlish features, it was small wonder this man had fooled her into thinking he was of the female gender upon first meeting him.

Of course, none of that explained what they were doing huddled on the floor together. He was still holding onto her wrist. It hurt a little, but this discomfort was nothing compared to the unease Nao felt at being in this situation.

Just as she was about to ask for an explanation, of a sudden Fukunaga shook his head.

"Hush!"

He then indicated she should look over the top of the trolley. While not understanding, Nao saw no reason not to obey, and both of them peeked up over the edge.

On the other side of the library, the three members of the opposing Eastern Army, Skinny Spectacles, the Other Woman, and Couch Potato were deep in discussion. Apparently the first two were demanding an explanation for how their teammate could have allowed Fukunaga to control the course of the game so easily. The fat man cringed and replied back, but whatever explanations he was giving them, it didn't seem to be making an improvement on their moods. Though unable to hear what was being said, it was apparent by their body language and facial features that a very heated argument was taking place.

Fukunaga sank back down, and Nao followed suit. There was a gleeful look on his face that made her wish to be somewhere else.

"Here we go," the dude in drag whispered. "I've been waiting for this!"

She couldn't help herself. "Waiting for what, Mr. Fukunaga?"

His feverish eyes darted over to her, and he gave a disturbingly feminine giggle that made Nao's flesh crawl.

"Nao, you know how I'm all about making money, right?" She gave a nod of understanding, and Fukunaga continued. "Well, what you might not have picked up on is that I really enjoy causing pain and suffering to other people."

Kanzaki thought back to all the times she had seen him kick the crap out of their fellow contestants on the basis of whatever fresh incompetence they had displayed. "Actually, I might have noticed how you're a little…"

"I mean _really _enjoy it!"

There was no denying that his face had taken on a very vicious cast, and he seemed to be breathing heavily. He still hadn't let go of her hand for some reason.

"Y-yes, I realize that now."

Fukunaga snuck another quick peek over the lip of their cover, and then came back down to crouch before Nao. Their faces were only inches apart, and she was totally creeped out by the gleam in his wide eyes. Automatically she looked for salvation to where Mr. Akiyama still stood, but he apparently hadn't taken any notice of her plight.

"So anyway, at the same time that I've been cleaning the Eastern Army's clock, I've been poking that pig I'm up against, just to make him squeal. But the true fun comes now!" With that the excited cross-dresser hoisted them both up to spy upon the argument between their enemies. It was growing more vocal by the second. "You see, I pegged Couch Potato as the weak link in their group. If things start to go bad, they'll automatically take their frustrations out on him, because he just looks like a loser. The kind of guy who was born to eat dirt and come back for more. You know the type, right?"

"No."

"It's all about knowing how human beings react, Nao." He continued without seeming to have heard her. There was an expression of excitement on his face as he watched the altercation begin to increase apace. "When feeling threatened, they always look for someone weaker to take their share of woes out on. Because nobody is going to try and bully somebody stronger than them, right?"

Now Skinny was jabbing a finger in front of Potato's nose emphatically with every other word, and the Other Woman looked less and less inclined to be the voice of reason. Things were growing alarming, but not because of those three. Fukunaga had seized hold of her arm with both hands and was squeezing in anticipation. Whatever rapture had taken hold of him seemed to be increasing. The only fortunate thing was that with his attention off her, he didn't notice when she turned and waved surreptitiously at Mr. Akiyama for help.

Unfortunately, neither did Mr. Akiyama.

"Suppose you can write sqrt(2)=a/b where both a and b are natural numbers," the lanky ex-con pondered aloud. "Square both sides to get 2=(a/b)^2. Multiply both sides by b^2 to get 2b^2=a^2. Now a^2 is then an even number, so 2 must divide a^2, which means…"

For once, Nao seriously wished Akiyama wasn't so damn smart. A stupid person would have at least noticed she was in trouble over here!

What kind of trouble? Not sure I want to know. Anyway, Fukunaga was going off again.

"And if more than one person focuses on the same patsy to vent, then their reactions are bound to get even more exaggerated because they see someone else backing them up so it makes them more confident of victory! Listen!" he gasped. "We can hear what they're saying!"

It was true. From the far end of the room, Nao could pick out a few words being shouted. "You… useless…! … _march_ back in …be a man!"

To Nao's profound horror, Fukunaga had now taken to rubbing the back of her hand against his cheek, never taking his eyes off the scene occurring before them.

"And now the primal urges are taking over!"

Couch Potato was backed up against a desk, cringing in on himself like a threatened hedgehog. The Other Woman was yelling at him now too, echoing everything Skinny said. "…tub of guts… I go down… aking you _with me!"_

Fukunaga's face was flushed, breathing in heavy pants. Nao tried desperately to pull herself free, but failed in the face of his superior strength. She therefore had to settle for keeping herself at arm's length while he continued to nuzzle her wrist seemingly unawares.

"The compulsion to behave savagely grows as the victim exhibits defeated behavior!"

Fukunaga's eyes were shining. Spectacles grabbed Potato by the collar and began shaking him back and forth, shouting in his face. "Goddammit, you lose one more goddamn _dime_, you better put that goddamn toy gun in your mouth and _pray _the next cartridge is _real_! Otherwise I'm gonna…!_"_

"All notions of civility go out the window!"

With his attention occupied, Nao took this opportunity to wave rather blatantly at her other partner. _'Mr. Akiyama! Over here, over HERE!'_

"…in which case by the same reasoning used for a^2, there are an even number of 2's in b^2. In either case, there are then an odd number of 2's on the left hand side and an even number of 2's on the right hand side, which is logically impossible. Therefore…"

'_Would you step out of Genius Land for two seconds and HELP ME? I'M BEING… I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M BEING, BUT I KNOW I DON'T LIKE IT!'_

Her captor was moaning excitedly, his cries growing higher and louder with every moment. "Every word, each breath out of the prey's mouth is an insult!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Couch Potato babbled hysterically. "Don't hit me, please don't hit me!"

"What did you say?" Skinny was screaming into the man's frightened face. "What did you SAY?"

"The blood is rushing to your head, you can't even hear them anymore!"

Nao scrunched her eyes tight in desperation, seeking to ignore the sensation on her skin as Fukunaga continued to babble.

"A woman is watching you, encouraging you to show your strength and manhood! The last reason to hold back is gone!"

"Hit him!" the Other Woman was screaming. "Hit his fat stupid face, will you? Just HIT HIM!"

"Yes…" Fukunaga moaned ecstatically, nuzzling Nao's wrist and licking her on top of that. "YES…!"

Teeth clenched with revulsion, she shut her eyes and tried to block it all out.

"WHAT… DID… YOU…!"

"… our assumption that sqrt(2)=a/b must be incorrect, and so…"

"… _SAY?"_

And with that, Skinny hauled off and socked the Potato in his gut.

"_YEEEEEESSSSSS!"_

Everything went quiet after that.

When she finally found the courage to crack an eyelid, Nao observed Skinny Spectacles being hauled off bodily by some Liar Game attendants while a few others saw to Couch Potato, who was sitting in a chair and gasping painfully.

She then took note of her own situation. Beside her, Fukunaga had calmed down, eyes shut and breathing going back to normal. He finally let go of her, and Nao snatched her hand away and cradled it to her chest.

Fukunaga gave a sigh, flushed and slightly trembling. He patted his cheeks, opened his eyes and turned to look at his unwilling partner. Kanzaki cringed.

"Thanks, Nao," the transvestite said. "That was great."

He then stood up, gave her a pat on the head and sauntered off, stretching his arms lazily overhead and humming like a kid on the way to school.

Nao sat there for a few seconds.

"I feel dirty," she declared, and went to go ask if there was a shower handy in this building.

_**FIN.**_


	3. Game IV Qualifier

In the shadows of a dockside warehouse lurked Yokoya Norihiko, fascist genius and all-around human kidney stone. He crouched on the edge of a group of other men, all of whom had gathered for what they were told would be the Fourth Stage of the Liar Game. His keen serpent's gaze raked over this anxious huddle of frightened vermin he had once again been lumped into, fingers stroking the docile white mice cradled in his grasp.

Mice. That's all those clods milling about the room could be described as.

It never ceased to amaze him what random simpletons the Liar Game organization managed to entrap into these contests. Did they simply mail out invitations willy-nilly and hope to get some interesting contestants, or was there actually some measure of prior investigation and evaluation in determining their quarry? The vast number of players certainly seemed to be men, usually struggling financially and prone to low intelligence. Of course, he thought with a smirk, those last two applied to the vast percentage of the population. All the more reason a man like him, possessed of wealth and status, was the anomaly both in this game and society in general. In fact, come to think of it, this gaggle of Liar Game candidates made for a remarkably accurate cross-section of Japan, at least in his opinion.

And as surely as the sun did rise over his illegal off-shore accounts, this line of thought got him pondering Nao Kanzaki and Shinichi Akiyama.

Yokoya's mood soured instantly.

It wasn't that he had never expected to meet anyone who could possibly rival him in cleverness. Truthfully, Yokoya appreciated the opportunity to prove his superiority against a worthy opponent. Weak or strong, their subjugation was what really counted. While he needed no confirmation of his own superb acumen, there was a definite sense of accomplishment in proving that dominance to another person who considered themselves of greater than average intelligence. That was why the challenge presented by the conman Akiyama needed to be met with absolute force and crushed with ruthless abandon.

A worthy opponent besting him was no great cause for distress. Eventually, Yokoya would gain the upper hand no matter what.

On the other hand, an unworthy opponent lording it over him … well, that was the proverbial zipper to his scrotum. In that situation, he shouldn't have had to question who retained the upper hand. Yokoya should never have lost control, even for an instant.

But somehow, that was exactly what the accursed Kanzaki girl had done.

With her gentle idiocy and meek foolishness, she had not only succeeded in remaining outside of his control, but had claimed to have bested him in the end. He had been furious with her, and with himself. A person like that, a mouse in woman's clothing… she shouldn't have even been given the opportunity to grovel before him, merely shuttled off to one side, out of sight and out of mind. Instead she cozened his servile minions over to her way of thinking, and managed to overcome the carefully crafted maze of prods and fears he had constructed to keep those wretches in their place.

The memory of her declaration at the end of the last Game, of how her ideal of cooperation had triumphed over his own of domination… that was what really rankled him.

So by the time this Liar Game was over, Yokoya Norihiko had resolved to not only humiliate Akiyama, but to crush the spirit of Nao Kanzaki, leaving her vaunted idealism smashed in his wake, her confidence in the innate goodness of humanity ripped to tatters. Never again would she dare to mock him.

Never again.

The thought settled his nerves. Yokoya stroked the silky fur of his little pets, allowing a small smirk to show on his face. No one on Earth would ever look down upon him. Kanzaki and Akiyama would have no choice but to fall under his sway. They would become his slaves as surely as the rest of this riffraff.

While he was relishing that mental image, a commotion came from the dopes towards the front of the warehouse.

"Hey!" somebody shouted. "It's a girl!"

Yokoya perked up at that. There was only one person this could possibly be. Some small childish part of him insisted on rushing forward to confirm it, but he held himself in check. Patience. This time she would not trick him into revealing anything, whether it be strength, weakness, or the burning eagerness to confront her once again. This time, those two would know what it meant to challenge a true dictator.

A small knot of men had now gathered towards the entrance. They were blocking his view, however Yokoya did not bother to move from his position in the shadows. Time was on his side. Instead he took the chance to observe their reactions.

And the first thing he noticed was how happy all those morons seemed.

They were smiling and laughing together, when only moments past not one of them had even been able to look the other in the eye. It was a complete turnaround from the previous mood that had been haunting the warehouse. This left Yokoya utterly dumbfounded. Happiness and good feeling? What could have possibly made these mice so content in such a short amount of time?

A horrible thought occurred to him. Could it be… Kanzaki? Could she be behind this somehow, dispelling the pall of dread and misgivings he had been counting on to bring the others into his grip?

He faintly heard a woman's piping tones coming from the crowd of men. Yokoya recognized it instantly as belonging to her. And as if to reinforce his disquietude, the guys all suddenly laughed.

What the devil? Had those dumb apes never met a woman before? Damn it! Didn't they know about 'bros before hoes' at least? How could that imbecile Kanzaki have possibly charmed them so quickly? Amazed, Yokoya suddenly wished to catch a glimpse of her and determine for himself where all this goodwill was coming from.

As if obeying his will, the tide of testosterone suddenly parted, and Yokoya got his first good look at the person standing in its center.

He almost dropped his mice.

There, chatting amicably with the male contestants, was indeed Kanzaki Nao. This was no surprise. What floored him, what completely blew his mind and left him doubting his senses, was what she was wearing.

The puny little girl was decked out in a mouse costume. But this was no childish, amusement park-friendly outfit. This was the sort of thing you bought online, under an assumed name, and the post office delivered it to you in a plain unmarked brown paper package. Nao's arms and legs were bare. She was sporting a furry gray vest that left her midriff and a good deal of the area below her throat visible. A pair of mouse-fur shorts did their best to leave some portion of her anatomy to the imagination. On her feet were thigh-high boots fashioned to look like fuzzy little paws, and she had a matching pair of mittens to go with them. Completing the ensemble was a small cap with big mouse ears. With her large liquid black eyes and pale skin, the transformation from wallflower to Naughty Mouse Girl was complete.

It had now become evident why so many guys were clustered around her. For his part, Yokoya could only stare, quivering in outrage with his narrow eyes flung wide. He knew the real reasons behind this spectacle. It wasn't about getting those crotch-craniums over to her side. This was for him! This humiliating apparel, it was clearly meant to deride and humiliate _him! _That wretched brat was mocking Yokoya to his face once again. She was laughing at him and his viewpoint of other people, spitting on his pride and grinding it underneath her mousey feet! How dare she! How _DARE SHE!_

"I'm a mouse!" their new mascot chirped, twisting adorably from one foot to the next. The other contestants all laughed heartily.

She then apparently spotted Yokoya lurking off by himself. Nao gave a cheerful grin, and without further ado, struck a cute pose, one leg lifted off the floor and her little paws tucked up around her face.

"Squeak-squeak, Mr. Yokoya!" the girl called merrily.

With a vicious snarl, Yokoya bit the heads off his mice.

For a few seconds he remained lost in a haze of red roiling anger. Then Norihiko noticed the decapitated rodents he held in his hand, and finally tasted what was on his tongue.

"AGHBTH! PTUI!" the furious tyrant spat out mouse brains, coughing and gagging. He then went stumbling off to find a bathroom where he could wash the fur and blood from his mouth.

* * *

"Uh, Nao?"

"Yes, Mr. Akiyama?"

He cleared his throat self-consciously, finding it somewhat hard to look at her in that get-up. "I just wanted to say, it was a very clever move on your part, dressing like that. You obviously scored a major blow to Yokoya's ego, and that puts us in a much better position in terms of competition."

She blinked her great big eyes. "What do you mean? I'm only wearing this because it's laundry day, and these were the only clean clothes I had."

"Oh."

The psych major paused to consider this previously unforeseen solution. Then he asked, "But… why would you have an outfit like that to begin with?"

In response, Nao looked up at him and giggled.

"Squeak-squeak, Mr. Akiyama!"

Then she went skipping off, humming delightedly to herself.

Shinichi stared after her, amazed.

"Excuse me, Akiyama-san?"

Turning, he found himself confronted by yet another Liar Game dealer, this one with spiky hair, dressed in a suit and wearing a mask decorated like a clown.

"Yes?"

The dealer adjusted his bowtie nervously. "I was wondering… are you and Kanzaki Nao dating?"

His response came back immediately. "No."

"Oh. Well, in that case…" The guy tipped the bottom of his mask up slightly and squirted some breath freshener in his mouth. Adjusting the lapels of his coat, he then declared, "Forli's gonna make his move. Oh, Nao-chan!" he cried, running off in pursuit.

Akiyama stood frozen.

Then he spun about and ran to catch up.

"Hey! Four-leaf! Get back here!"

_**FIN.**_


	4. Game IV

The train of her gown was so long it reached all the way down the church steps and into the parking lot. There were doves roosting on it, pecking at rice, but wasn't it a little early for any of that?

"You'll be fine," her father said, and patted her hand.

Nao Kanzaki looked up at him. He was smiling in a reassuring manner, and she was suddenly so very glad just to see him up and about, not confined to a hospital bed.

"It's going to be a wonderful day," she declared.

The pews were packed for the occasion. A few people she recognized as being her friends and colleagues up to this point, but the vast majority of them were Liar Game contestants. There was Mr. X from the Second Game, and Miura was smiling at her with his 200 million M-ticket stuck to his forehead. Girl-Fukunaga had apparently come with Boy-Fukunaga as her date, and the twosome were arguing about who was going to pay the cab fare home. She smiled at them bickering in a church like two cats yowling on a fence.

"It's starting," one of the Liar Game attendants whispered, face hidden behind his anonymous faceplate.

There should be music then, she thought, but they were still moving down the aisle together. On either side of the intersection were matching choirs made up entirely of masked LGT attendants. They wore white robes, and Nao had the sneaking suspicion that all of them were lip-synching their hymns since no one could see their faces. She wanted to quickly run down the transept and snatch off a mask as proof of their illegal behavior. Then she would get 10 billion Yen for proving malfeasance on the part of the officials.

Unfortunately, she and her father had already passed that point and reached the chancel, where the priest and all the important wedding party members congregated.

Samue the cult-leader looked almost respectable in his holy vestments, a red chimere draped over his purple chasuble robes. But he apparently insisted on wearing his ratty straw hat instead of the golden mitre. Nao tried not to let this spoil the mood even as she wondered why all her bridesmaids were Samue's girly henchmen. 'Ponytail' Abe looked very uncomfortable in her aluminum-foil hat, but the other two were as dispassionate and blank-faced as ever.

As for the groomsmen, Mr. Big was wearing a tie that looked suspiciously like a flattened and mangled Baldy, right down to his Communist-gray Chinese suit and screaming face. Fatso was dressed in a little English-boy sailor's suit complete with a lollipop and shoulder-length curly blonde wig. An alligator in a tuxedo turned its head and grinned at her, then stood on its hind legs and crossed its stubby arms behind its back.

As for the groom himself…

"And so," Samue declared, "if there be anyone present who objects to this union…"

Dad was sitting in the front row, crying and blowing his nose. The person sitting beside him offered a handkerchief which he gratefully accepted. After using it he passed the sodden cloth back to Akiyama, who tucked it carefully into his coat pocket and…

Wait.

What was Mr. Akiyama doing sitting down there?

"…let him speak now, or forever hold his peace."

Something wasn't right. They were supposed to be getting married! Why was Mr. Akiyama not standing beside her where he belonged?

She threw him a helpless glance, but Shinichi seemed dead-set on staring straight ahead, ignoring her pleading entreaties. Wait, the priest just said we should speak out! Now's my chance to stop this!

Turning, Nao opened her mouth, but to her horror, it wasn't Samue standing there, it was the Fake Lawyer, her handler for the Liar Game! He flashed that insidious oily smirk of his, and threw off the straw hat to reveal a cup of steaming tea balanced on his head.

Wait, you're a fake priest, too?

"I now pronounce you…!"

This is wrong, Nao wanted to declare, I don't know who I'm getting married to! Somebody please tell me!

As she thought this, a hand came up and drew away her veil.

A white mouse was crawling across it.

"… man and wife!"

Beside her stood Yokoya Norihiko, looking slick and sinister in his all-black tuxedo.

"Don't you know this is what happens if you lose the Game, Kanzaki Nao?" he purred, slitted eyes gleaming malevolently.

Around her, all the people had become giant white mice in suits and dresses. As Yokoya leaned his face in closer to hers, they all stood up and began to cheer and clap. She couldn't move away, though she tried, and that cruel boyish visage twisted in glee.

"Now I'm going to make you my love-kitten, Nao-chan!"

And Nao bolted upright in bed with a scream.

Panting she looked wildly all around her. The room she had been assigned for the duration of the Fourth Game was cloaked in darkness. But wait… was that the sound of little feet pattering across the floor?

Her wildly palpitating heart went cold, and the disheveled girl threw off the covers, taking the time only to slip on a pair of fuzzy slippers before running out the door and down the hall.

* * *

Asleep in his bed, Yokoya twitched and mumbled. "No… leave the hospital mask on, baby… it makes me hot!" He chuckled and rolled over on his side, hugging his pillow tightly against him.

There came a pounding on his door, and instantly Norihiko's eyes snapped wide open.

He was on his feet a second later, completely awake and already calculating. Was it an emergency? No, there wasn't an alarm sounding. The LGT staff certainly wouldn't have prepared a hotel on this island retreat without having basic warning measures thrown in. And they would have called his room telephone if they wanted to contact him. That meant it must be another contestant.

The knocking was still going on, so this wasn't any childish beat-and-run game like college students played to try and make him lose any sleep. Approaching the door, he looked through the peephole, curious as to who might be disturbing him.

When he saw who it was, Yokoya jerked back with a hiss.

He considered not opening. But she continued to pound upon it desperately, and it became clear she wasn't going away anytime soon. The only choice was to face this menace head-on. Steeling himself, he moved the dresser he had used as a barricade out of the way, drew the bolt, undid the latch, and wrenched the door open.

"Yes?" he inquired in a silky-soft, dangerous voice.

Nao Kanzaki stood panting out in the hall, dressed in pink pajamas and wearing bunny slippers. She looked frazzled and rather disoriented, but before he could come to any conclusions as to her being here, she clasped her hands before her and gasped out, "Mr. Yokoya, you're not planning to marry me and make me your love-kitten, are you?"

The jaw dropped, the mind went blank, and Yokoya Norihiko could do nothing but gape in stupefied disbelief.

After a few seconds of the two of them just standing there staring at one another, Nao seemed to finally catch her breath. She drew herself up and blinked a few times.

"No, wait… that's crazy," she declared matter-of-factly. "You'd never do something like that. It was all just a silly dream."

A beatific smile stole over her face, making the girl positively glow like a nightlight. With a giggle she bowed forward and came back up.

"Thank you, Mr. Yokoya! I feel a whole lot better now. Good night!"

Nao then turned about and pranced merrily away.

Yokoya remained staring into the empty hall long after she had gone.

Without warning a stab of pain went through his gut. Doubling over, he grimaced and swore, squinting his eyes against the agony.

"That damn girl is giving me an ulcer!" he snarled, and turning about, he stalked back into his chambers, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

"Got any sixes?" Forli asked hopefully.

Solaris shook his head. "Go Fish."

A few feet away from where the two dealers were playing their game in the control room, a telephone rang. Alsab went over to answer it.

"Hello?"

He paused, listening for a few seconds.

"I understand. We'll get on it right away." He then hung up the receiver and beckoned over to one of the hovering attendants. "Please take another box of Alka-Seltzer over to Yokoya Norihiko's room."

"Again?" Forli frowned as he looked up from where they were playing. "We're running low! Doesn't that guy realize we're on a tropical island and don't have easy access to a drugstore?"

"I watched him drink a whole bottle of milk of magnesia yesterday without stopping," Yokoya's handler Kurifuji stated from her position overseeing the card game. "It was fascinating, and a little disquieting. Like watching a snake swallow an egg."

"Apparently the demands of the Liar Game are hitting him harder than we might have thought," Alsab declared with a shrug.

Off by the monitors, Leronira tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm… I wonder if it might have less to do with the Game, and more to do with the people playing it."

Nearco looked up from the paper he was reading. "You're not going to tell us it's all because of Nao Kanzaki again, are you?"

"What's about me?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing.

Turning, the five men and one woman stared aghast at Nao Kanzaki standing in the control room blinking innocently.

"H-how…?" Forli stammered, "How on _earth_ did you get in here?"

"Uh… I got lost?" she said, twisting her hands behind her back and looking from one to the other. Her face brightened suddenly. "Wow, so you're all here! I thought maybe you guys were kept in boxes or something to charge up and brought out only when you were needed!"

"What?" Nearco glanced about in confusion.

Solaris looked over at him pityingly. "She thinks we're robots."

"She thinks we're _robots?"_

"Nao-chan," Leronira stepped forward before anything more could be said. "You're having a bad dream. Please go out the door behind you, take a left and go down the flight of stairs. Your room is the fifth one on the right."

"Oh. Thank you, Leronira-san!"

Kanzaki bowed and trotted out the door, humming a chipper tune.

As she left, everyone in the room experienced a violent shiver.

Looking over at the previously-dispatched attendant, who was standing there in confusion, Alsab said, "Hey. Better make that two boxes, okay?"

_**FIN.**_


	5. Revival Round 1

"The last five of Nao-chan's votes are still up for grabs," Shinichi Akiyama declared smugly. "From here on I don't have any say in who she gives them to. It's entirely up to her."

The rest of the players in the deserted bowling alley said not a word. Having all lost in Round Two, they knew this was their only chance to keep from being burdened with insurmountable debt. And by seemingly impossible odds, that hope now rested in the hands of the woman they had all spurned so cruelly. You could tell by their faces that the irony was not lost on them.

How sweet it was.

Shinichi's careful gaze took note of how the others in this Revival Round were reacting. Their fear and disbelief was palpable. He then turned a satisfied look on the wide-eyed waif in question, and he wasn't the only one. Virtually all the participants in this prelude to Game Three were staring at her. Even the ones he knew for a fact no longer needed any votes to secure their continued status in the Liar Game seemed to be regarding Nao with a sort of incredulous reverence. They had all taken advantage of that poor girl, and now the roles were reversed. There was no doubt that Kanzaki had gone from sacrificial underdog to the unquestioned ruler of this contest.

For her part, the girl seemed a little hesitant at his pronouncement. Understandable, in the con man's opinion. Having relied on his crafty negotiations and strategies to prevail up 'til now, it probably felt a tad surreal to be told that from here on the outcome of the game was entirely in her hands. That sort of responsibility could make anyone feel lightheaded.

As if to support that thought, Nao swayed slightly, one hand going to her mouth. She seemed only now to have realized just how crucial her role in their plan truly was. After a few seconds, though, the girl looked up hesitantly.

"Um, Mr. Akiyama… you're saying that… I have to decide who gets my votes?"

Had he not been clear on that point? Oh, well, better make certain she understood. "That's right. You decide."

Nao seemed to ponder this weighty issue with utmost concentration. "And you won't intervene at all?"

Her voice sounded so very anxious. In her skirt and blouse she was the very picture of pure maidenhood. Poor sweet simple Nao, he thought with a certain trace of affection. You'll do just fine.

"Correct, Nao-chan. It's all up to you."

Her head slowly turned to observe the other people who were now hanging on her every phrase and nuance.

"So what you're really saying is…" Nao's eyes thoughtfully took in all those anxious faces. "I'm in control now."

Akiyama paused for a moment, unsure if he liked the way that sounded. "Well… yes, I suppose you could put it like that."

"Oh…"

Now even he wasn't certain what to think. Across from him Nao took a deep breath as if to steady herself. Letting it out, she smiled.

It was not a pleasant sight.

"In that case, here's what we're all going to do!"

* * *

The heavy black bowling ball sped down the lane and collided with the pins, knocking them down.

"YAY! STEE-RIKE!"

Stepping back from his throw, Yuuji Fukunaga cast a sickly glance over to where Nao applauded from her position on the bench.

"That's twelve strikes in a row, Mr. Fukunaga!" she proclaimed excitedly. "You really are talented to keep hitting them all like that! Well, I guess that means you're still in the running for those votes. Unless, of course…" And here her voice lost its playful quality. "You miss even one pin. Then you're out of the running, and have to _die."_

Fukunaga swallowed, sweat dappling his forehead at the deadly look she gave him. An image of a mouse petrified before a cobra stole unbidden into his thoughts.

And then that bubbly beauty giggled once more.

"Now it's your turn, Big Boy! Hurry up, it's coming back!"

The line of men standing before her trudged forward a step miserably. At their head was Eda Teruyuki. The fat guy's shirt was soaked in a cold sweat, and his blubbery body shook like a bowl of vanilla pudding. He quailed under Nao's penetrating stare.

She then looked over her shoulder. "Flip, Mr. Miura!"

In response, the gangly Punk Rocker-player obediently flipped a fifty-Yen coin and caught it. Clenching the disc in his sticky palm, he swallowed resolutely before looking down at the result.

"T-tails."

Terayuki emitted a strangled moan. Behind him the other men shivered in sympathy. There was no help to be found from them, however.

"You heard the man. Move it or lose it, Chubby Cheeks!"

Now wearing an expression of utmost horror, Eda shambled forward a few steps and took up his position, straddling the lane's return chute. He faced towards the hole down which Fukunaga's shot would return. With a pitiful whimper, the poor soul then sat down on the chute with his tailbone braced against the last ball.

From the depths of the small black tunnel before him, they could hear a faint ominous clunking.

Eda shivered.

The sounds grew louder.

Eda shut his eyes.

Louder still.

Eda sobbed.

All the other men resolutely averted their gaze, and with a final clatter, the bowling ball shot out of the hole at incredible speed.

That entire sixteen-pound mass slammed directly into Terayuki's crotch.

WHUMP!

A sad high-pitched grunt was the only sound he made before slumping forwards in a graceless heap.

At a gesture from Nao, two of the players not participating in her spectacle came forward and hauled the victim off to the side where he could recuperate. Their mistress then looked back to where Fukunaga waited in ashen dread to continue performing his duties.

As the cowed cross-dresser went to collect his ball, Shinichi Akiyama could only sit and watch in stunned disbelief.

He had never thought that Nao Kanzaki of all people, sweet tender-hearted Nao who positively dripped kindness and goodwill towards men, would turn into a vicious tyrant in such a short time. She had refuted all previous notions of her innocence by demanding the men under her reign subject themselves to various painful and humiliating torments in order to curry her favor. Off to one side, Nondescript Japanese Youth-player and Bleached Blonde-player were currently engaged in a no-holds barred fight to determine who would have the benefit of licking Nao's feet clean. They were torn and bloodied, and so exhausted neither combatant appeared capable of performing his duties even if he won.

As to the man responsible for this awful transformation, he was still rather blown away by the thought that his attempt to give Nao a greater feeling of participation in the game had led to this regrettable state.

Even more confusing than this, why was Akiyama currently sitting with the girl herself curled up in his lap?

From her chosen throne, Nao amused herself in between bouts by cupping his chin and nibbling teasingly on his earlobe. Every now and then she bit the tender flesh gently, causing a shiver to run up his frame. All the while, Shinichi retained a look of slack-jawed amazement on his usually unreadable features.

"STEE-RIKE!"

Tearing herself away from her naughty playtime, Nao laughed and clapped giddily. "Brilliant Mr. Fukunaga! Mr. Miura, flip!"

"Heads."

"Heads it is, then! Get in position, Acorn."

Satou Tetsuzou, the round-headed guy whose melon did indeed resemble a type of nut, cleared a space in between two of the bowling balls and knelt to place his shorn head between them, crouching in the position of a prisoner beneath a guillotine. His eyes were bugging out, and his teeth chattered nonstop. Now just one more sphere in this macabre Newton's Cradle, Satou waited for the impact to strike further down and travel through the stones to reach his skull.

From out of the sinister tunnel could be heard his approaching doom.

Satou gibbered.

The sound grew louder.

Satou frothed.

Louder still.

"Hey, wait a minute…"

Suddenly Satou blinked as a thought occurred to him. "What am I doing here? I already bought all the points I need to win the game from Nao beforehand! So why am I even…?"

Before he could complete this sentence, Fukunaga's ball launched into view and slammed into the end of the line.

WHAM!

SPLAT!

Several people screamed shrilly as they staggered back. Turning her head, Nao gazed curiously at the gruesome remains.

"Wow… lot of meat in that acorn head of his, wasn't there?"

She promptly went back to sucking the gobsmacked Akiyama's earlobe.

* * *

The dealer Nearco gestured down the hall of the abandoned airport.

"And there is the Northern Country!"

At the head of his clump of fearful thralls, Yokoya Norihiko watched with sharp interest as their opponents in this Third Round of the Liar Game were finally revealed to them. His own pack in the Northern Country was a bunch of rough-looking thugs whose menace was matched only by their stupidity. The other team no doubt must be another gaggle of imbeciles. But somewhere among them had to be a leader, a singular point of control much like him. Now was his first opportunity to try and seek out that individual in order to…

To…

Norihiko shivered.

The Southern Country appeared to be a cross-section of losers at first glance. Overweight, scrawny, physically unimpressive specimens. Not that he put much stock in outer appearances.

But that was not the source of his vague unease. No, what caused a chill to settle in Yokoya's heart was the identical look all those buffoons were sporting. A dozen slack, dead-eyed faces stared down the terminal at him. They did not respond to his team's intimidating presence at all. Not a one even seemed to be aware of them.

There suddenly came a polite cough.

Morbid terror. That was the abrupt norm in the entire Southern Army to a man. As if on prearranged signal, their ranks parted, allowing Norihiko to spy something odd. Standing in the midst of that bunch of zombies there was a small dark-haired girl in a dress. She was turned to one side, hands clasped demurely before her, head tilted down and eyes shut.

As the mastermind of the Northern Army stood transfixed, he saw one eyelid open slightly and turn to fasten on him.

A merciless black shark's orb stared down the length of the hall for a brief second, burning straight into the brain of Yokoya Norihiko and all his men.

Then it shut, and the ranks of the Southern Country closed up again before trudging off to their sector without a word.

A few seconds after they left, the aspiring young dictator realized that he had wet his pants.

_**FIN.**_


	6. Revival Round 3

The mood in the control room of the Liar Game Organization was understandably subdued. Having just witnessed Yokoya Norihiko's incomprehensible prediction of the game he and his fellow contestants would all be playing, most of the LG dealers were finding it hard to hide their distress. Considering they were long used to at least some semblance of authority over the contest's workings this new development hardly boded well.

"I wonder if maybe we aren't losing control?" Forli muttered worriedly as they all clustered before the monitors.

Alsab cast his panic-prone colleague a cool glance. "Have a little more faith in us, Forli. The benefit of gathering extremely talented individuals like Yokoya in this game is that they can be pitted against one another should the need arise."

"Indeed." Solaris bent down to inspect the screens showing the other set of contestants in this fifth-round runner-up event. "And I for one will be most interested to see how the brilliant Akiyama deals with the cunning Samue now that the two of them must face each other without Yokoya to consider."

"Shinichi Akiyama," Leronira mused. His cohorts afforded him their attention, a tribute to the high regard they all held for the thoughtful gamesman. "Yes, knowing him it will be something of surpassing cleverness. I daresay none of us can fully predict the complicated currents of that man's penetrating psyche. But whatever the case our position remains secure. Rather than fretting needlessly I think we should look forward to learning whatever marvelous strategy that extraordinary individual will choose to employ."

* * *

"You'll never get away with this, Akiyama," Leronira growled with his hands in the air.

"Whatever. Raise 'em up a little higher, now."

Grudgingly the dealer complied, and Shinichi Akiyama proceeded to rob him at gunpoint.

As the cheerful mugger rummaged through Leronira's coat pockets with his free hand, the other sporting a fully loaded MK23 handgun remained trained in the general direction of the remaining dealers. An explanation for how he managed to smuggle it in was not forthcoming. Nor was it even the most prominent concern on their minds. All the Liar Game officials stood together in a line down the length of the control room. Every one desultorily held their hands raised in the air just like Leronira. In addition, each of them had his pants hiked down around his ankles, creating a row of masked men in formal dress showing off their boxers. Or briefs. Alsab's 'Hello Kitty' underwear had drawn a genuine laugh from Akiyama upon first spotting them. No one else thought it was the least bit amusing. At least not in this situation.

Upon locating Leronira's wallet tucked inside his vest Akiyama took a step back to thumb through its contents. He whistled appreciatively at the sizable amount of cash held within. Leronira stiffened as if in preparation of retaliation, but Akiyama cocked his gun a little higher without even looking up. The furious dealer was forced to subside.

After removing the wad of bills he tucked the billfold back into Leronira's coat. Then he proceeded along the line.

"W… _wait one gosh darn minute!"_

Akiyama glanced over in surprise at this outburst. Further down Nearco had almost stepped out of his position, but apparently reconsidered when the gun rose to train upon him. With his hands up, the mustachio-dealer still resolved to face their captor with as much dignity as he could muster considering he was in his skivvies. "This… this isn't like you, Akiyama!"

Shinichi raised a languid eyebrow. "How so?"

His hostage spluttered, aghast. "You… you're _Shinichi friggin' Akiyama, _for crying out loud! You're supposed to do something brilliant and… psychological or whatever, to get everyone to do what you want! You can't just… use a _gun! _This is the Liar Game, not a convenience store holdup!"

Akiyama merely shrugged. "Well, I'm surprised nobody had this idea before me. What did you expect from an ex-con anyway? Being in jail taught me the value of simple brute force in certain situations. You were all so focused on having the Game be a fundamentally civilized undertaking that you completely forgot something like this was even possible."

"But it's so… _crude!"_ Solaris concluded lamely. "And so out of character for you!"

The lanky blond smirked. "Ah, but could acting crude when everyone expected brilliance from you be considered a form of brilliance in and of itself?"

"That doesn't make any_ SENSE!" _Nearco fairly screamed.

"Or doesn't it? But enough about me." He had finished dropping the last of the cash into a sack already stuffed with dollar bills, some gold Rolexes, and more than a few flashy rings and pendants. Akiyama then stood up and surveyed the control room with his deceptively lazy eyes. "Who wants to tell me where the loot you're keeping for the next Game can be found?"

"HA!" Artier the chief dealer laughed with as much scornful contempt as one could muster. The fact that hiking up the head honcho's robe had revealed a set of shapely women's legs in fishnet stockings and a G-string only mildly detracted from this bravado. "Did no one tell you? There is no hard currency used in this revival round! It's all digital, you _thug!_ Nothing for you to steal!"

The heavy gun twirled around the conman's trigger finger with deceptive ease. "True. After all, wouldn't do to give a bunch of potential losers access to something they could easily steal or run off with. But I'm willing to bet you bozos still have something solid squirreled away for the next round. So where is it?" He looked between their identically impassive faceplates and sighed reproachfully. "Look, the sooner you cough it up the sooner this is over, okay?"

The LGO head raised her chin proudly. "Do what you will, Shinichi Akiyama. You'll get nothing out of us!"

Obeying their leader's example, the Liar Game dealers proceeded to zip their collective lips. Shinichi watched this stalwart display with obvious amusement.

"Well. A wall of silence, is it?" His eyes narrowed and he began to stroll down the line of men whilst tapping the pistol meaningfully against his shoulder. "Or perhaps a chain of defiance. But remember, gentlemen, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link."

None of the dealers moved. He drew to a halt before one figure in particular.

"Isn't that right… Forli?"

The harlequin-mask gave no response. And yet, were one to inspect him closely, you would not have to look very hard to detect a significant trembling in the limbs of that spiky-haired dealer.

Akiyama now turned so that they were facing each other. His black eyes bore mercilessly into the man's empty eyeholes. Shinichi spoke not a word. He simply stared.

As the other captives watched in morbid fascination, their fumbling counterpart started shuddering all over like a puppet whose strings were being jerked. Drops of sweat could be seen sliding beneath the mask down his throat.

Akiyama stared.

Forli's shoulders began to twitch slightly.

Akiyama _stared._

A small whimpering sound came from those painted lips. And Akiyama…

… stared.

"AAAAAHHH!" Forli suddenly screamed. "OKAY, I GIVE! IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE!" He indicated frantically at a nondescript panel out of many on the console.

"FORLI, YOU SPINELESS COWARD!" Alsab roared.

"I couldn't help it, man!" the cowering clown sobbed as Akiyama strode off where indicated. "He just kept… STARING at me with those cold dead lifeless eyes! It's like he was reading my mind or something! And all I could think was how many ways _he_ might think of to hurt me! I mean, it's Shinichi Akiyama we're talking about! What couldn't he think of?! There's no telling what devious tortures he might devise!"

Whilst the dealers continued to argue among themselves, their forgotten nemesis was busily prying off the plate. He kept his gun trained on them even while removing the metal slab to reveal several hundred billion Yen worth of rare gold, diamond, and platinum collection Pokemon cards.

"Flippin' game junkies," he sighed as he stuffed the haul into his gunnysack. Satisfied that there was nothing left of value to be had, he turned to the video screens. Fukunaga had already beaten the crap out of everybody at the other location, with special attention paid to Yokoya, so no problems there. Hopefully that would keep the greedy cross-dresser in a good mood until they came to pick him up.

Satisfied, the master trickster flipped an intercom switch and spoke into it. "How we doing there, Nao?"

* * *

With a start, Nao Kanzaki looked up at the ceiling and smiled. "A-okay, Mr. Akiyama!"

"Good girl."

Pleased, she then went back to holding her fellow players hostage with an Uzi sub-machine gun.

The crowd of contestants, including Silien the dealer, stood nervously before her. While insisting on their keeping both hands up, she had not required the removal of pants. For this at least they were very grateful.

"All right, then!" Nao sang, her chipper demeanor completely at odds with the menacing firearm she was sporting. "Thank you for cooperating. I'm very glad you didn't make me shoot anyone! See what I meant about working together? We all come out ahead. Just a little bit longer and this will finally be over!"

While she continued prattling on like this, the elderly Harimoto 'Samue' Takashi stood with arms upraised like all the others. But unlike these dull-witted fools, he was pondering. From under the brim of his hat sharp eyes never left off studying Nao. Based on what he had learned about her in the previous Game and now having been given further evidence of her character, Samue felt that he had a good grasp of this woman's fundamental nature. Not to mention how he could turn it to his advantage.

Having come to this conclusion he glanced over towards where his two most trusted disciples stood. As if waiting for this moment, Kei 'Shortbob' Kimura and Mika 'Office Lady' Mikamoto gave identical slight nods. Samue smiled in satisfaction at their almost telepathic communion. Having become enslaved to his pseudo-religion of their own volition, the two of them were singularly attentive in their devotion to the cult leader. They would know what to expect from him, and conversely what he expected from them, without even having to ask.

So assured, Samue took a deep breath and made his move.

The other players gave startled yelps as he suddenly began to prance about in a weird dance. Nao Kanzaki also seemed taken aback by his abrupt performance. Her attention focused entirely on him just like everybody else. The same was true of her aim. With the gun on him this allowed Shortbob and Office Lady freedom to surreptitiously start edging towards Nao while she was concentrating on his foolish performance. Excellent.

"Yoh, Harimoto, what the hell are you doing, man?!" Tatsuya the Jock hissed between clenched teeth. "Stay still or she'll kill us!"

_Like she'd really shoot a frail old man, moron, _he thought scornfully, moving his arms and engaging in what looked like a series of ballet moves. "Oh, do forgive me," Samue responded out loud as if the gun being pointed at him posed no threat at all. "My powerful spirit is becoming agitated and I must repress it with these gestures. Otherwise my spirit might…"

Without hesitation Nao fired.

A single shot from the semi-automatic weapon blew the straw hat clean off Samue's head. It flew through the air and fluttered listlessly to the ground like a picked-off grouse. He stood awkwardly frozen in that ridiculous pose for a few seconds longer. His two devotees were so shocked they could only stare at him.

Harimoto blinked a few times. Then he quickly sat down on the ground and crossed his legs together to hold very still.

"My spirit is done for today," he stated calmly, a cold sweat causing his face to gleam.

"That's good to hear, Mr. Harimoto," Nao beamed with her Bambi-like eyes bright and sparkling. She then turned away from him to continue holding the others at bay.

"Er… Ancient One?" 'Ponytail' Abe asked cautiously from her place in the crowd.

He raised his chin a little higher. "I said I'm done."

She exchanged a look with Shortbob and Office Lady. "Um, pardon me, 10,000-Year-Old One, but are you certain…?"

Samue's head snapped around. "WHAT THE HELL, WOMAN, I SAID I'M DONE! YOU DEAF AS WELL AS STUPID?! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH OR I'LL-!"

When Nao put him in her crosshairs again, Harimoto clapped his jaws closed fast. He resolutely refused to make eye contact with anyone and kept his gaze firmly on the floor. Lucky thing he was already wearing an adult diaper or it would have required some fast explaining that might strain even his worshippers' credulity. Well, thank heaven for small favors.

Satisfied that all was well, Nao went back to patiently waiting. No one moved or spoke. Her cheerful smile proved far more intimidating than any potential bullet wound. When Shinichi Akiyama's voice came over the intercom again, it was almost a relief to them.

"Okay, Nao, that's it. I'm all loaded up, so meet me outside."

"Right!" The mike switched off. Nao twirled in one place and giggled merrily. While they watched her in anxious trepidation she began backing slowly away. "Thank you for your help, everyone! I hope we can meet again! Now let me see, how do I flip the safety on this thing?" She puzzled over the gun's components intently. Several people almost cried out at the clumsy way she was handling that deadly implement. "Mr. Akiyama showed me, but I can't remember if this is the right position or the switch between full and semi-automatic mo-"

Nao flipped the switch, and the gun went off.

A hail of bullets sprayed out with bursts of flame from the barrel. Everyone screamed and dove for cover. The force of the recoil caused the astonished girl's arm to jerk wildly around for a few seconds before lifting to fire straight into the ceiling. After some frantic jerking she finally managed to flip the lever.

The sound of gunfire mercifully ceased. Several voices called out as the echoes died away.

"IS ANYBODY HIT?"

"NOT ME!"

"HEY, WHO WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF HER?"

"I THINK IT WAS MR. BIG! I MEAN, TANINAKA! TANINAKA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? SAY SOMETHING!"

"I'M FINE!" the hulking man responded giddily from somewhere behind a counter. "DON'T WORRY, I'M FINE! I DIDN'T GET HIT! AT THE LAST SECOND I GRABBED BALDY AND USED HIM AS A SHIELD! RIGHT, BALDY?"

No answer came.

"Uh… Baldy?"

Only silence.

"Hooooo-boy," they all heard Mr. Big declare.

In the ensuing quiet, no one noticed that Nao Kanzaki had already made good her escape.

* * *

Akiyama withdrew from the mike to regard his captive audience once more. "Well, now that everything's been settled satisfactorily, who wants to be my hostage on the way out of here?"

There were no volunteers.

The con man smiled wolfishly. "Hmmm. Who to pick? Who, who, who?" He made a show of examining them all. Then, to no one's surprise, he pointed at Forli. "You."

"Aw, c'mon!" the goofy dealer grumbled. "Why don't you take Kurifuji? She's more important than me anyway."

"My hero," Yokoya's handler snarled from beside him. She alone had been allowed to keep her dignity, not to mention her pants.

"Nope," Akiyama declared. "It's you for me, Foreskin. Now get a move on." Without another word he threw the bag to Forli, then grabbed him by the collar and proceeded to drag him stumbling from the room. As the door closed he called out, "Oh, and there's a bomb attached to this side if anyone tries to follow us. Cheers, gents and ladies!"

The door clicked shut behind them. None of the dealers made a move to verify if that last had been a lie.

When the two men got outside the building, they met Nao Kanzaki waiting by a flashy red sports car. She waved at them, and both waved back. As they strolled leisurely towards the getaway vehicle, Shinichi holstered his gun and regarded Forli with a smile.

"Well, I guess we know who the best liar in Japan is, don't we, boss?"

Behind his mask, Forli smirked in turn. "Yeah. But whether or not those stuck-up pricks will figure it out remains to be seen."

When they reached the car Nao jumped all over Akiyama with a squeal. They fell into the backseat together and immediately commenced making out. Forli chuckled before hopping into the front passenger side. He then turned to inspect the beautiful raven-haired woman sitting at the wheel. "Hi. We haven't met. Name's Forli."

She looked at him askance through her glasses and revved the engine before responding. "Kaori Masumura."

The man in the clown mask regarded her up and down appreciatively. "Nice to meet you, Miss Masumura. Do you believe in fate, by any chance?"

"Not unless you're a lot better-looking than you sound." Kaori promptly threw the clutch. "Now buckle up, kids. We're hitting the road!"

As the victorious gang left a patch of smoking pavement behind them, a clown mask was flung into the air and landed in their wake, where it almost seemed to smile at the world.

**FIN**


End file.
